Suddenly Sandy

So...I've been avoiding the blog. I KNOW I need to post something, but I don't really have anything to post. I'm too lazy to go through and post pics because it's a bit of a pain. I'm exhausted from the holidays. And I'm stressing out about my appointment next week regarding the endometrial lump. I had myself half convinced I could just live with the pain because I'm terrified of surgery. Then Aunt Flo arrived and I can barely move today. Okay, I can move, but it hurts. Really bad. And I need to get out to run errands today. In the snow. It should be interesting. And I'm rambling because I'm tired and stressed. So...Happy New Year! I'm going to go and finish my coffee and try to stop being a thundercloud...I will definitely be back to update next week after my appointment with the OB. Hopefully I'll have good news! Until then, I think I'm going to continue my blog break unless I feel like I have something to share...I need to snap out of this funk!

Eek! So not looking forward to it. I talked to my family doctor the other day (actually it was her nurse, I love her). The lump is definitely endometriosis. It's a nodule in the abdominal wall. As long as it's there it'll hurt and continue to grow with each cycle. SO they gave me the name of two different offices to call to follow up with an OB. I picked one in the same building and am scheduled to go in on the 6th of January. Hopefully I like the guy. And yes, I said guy. I hate male doctors, but it would have been late January before I could get in with a female, so I said fine. At this point I just want all my questions answered, the surgery scheduled and done! Apparently the longer I leave it, the chances increase of it spreading elsewhere...which could cause problems with fertility. Since we want at least one more, I'll suck it up and do the surgery and get it over with. I'm going to whine and freak out quite a bit, but what do you expect when you cut me open and I don't even get a baby as a reward for being so brave???

Guess who went to see Santa? This was the best out of 3 pictures, apparently he walked right up and sat on Santa's lap without prompting! We skipped going to see Santa at 18 months due to being snowed in, and at 2.5 yrs time just got away from me and we didn't make it...so we have 6 months and now 3.5 yrs, both good pictures and no tears!

Today I have my needle biopsy...I was a complete mess yesterday. Up and down most of last night. *sigh* I don't even know what to expect. I can't look it up and I won't let Scott tell me. I can't know ahead of time when it comes to medical procedures. I didn't even read up on c-sections before I had mine, I made the hubby do it. He's better with the questions anyway. This way when I go in I'm just mildly panicked.

Here's to hoping they get the results quickly and we can move forward with some sort of plan to get rid of the pain every month!

That's what I'm embarking on. I'm going to look at it that way for now, otherwise I'm going to freak out. This is how my day went...

10 am-finally caved and called to make an appointment re: excruciating pelvic/lower abdomen pain. Able to get in at 11:10

10-10:30 am- twiddled my thumbs while waiting to leave

11 am-Yay! My doctor was on time. I was right, what I'm feeling is NOT normal. She seemed a little shocked my previous doctor hadn't done anything other than look and say that's scar tissue. SO she scheduled an ultrasound to check things out, is concerned it may be endometriosis.

11:30-2:15 Scotty and I visited Grams, went to Target and then stopped at my sisters to drop him off. I left at 2:30 so I could get there a teensy bit early for the ultrasound

2:45-Waited for 10 minutes after filling out papers, then headed back to the ultrasound room. LOVED my tech. She said I look 18. Seriously, I love her.

3:04-She leaves the room to show the results to the radiologist. I'm sitting there freaking out. And in pain because she had to push and prod in the painful area.

3:10 - Radiologist comes back and says he's not really sure what it is. It's not a cyst. It's not a hernia. It almost looks like a lymph node filled with blood. At this point I checked out a little bit...my older sister was diagnosed with cancer over a year ago in her lymph nodes. The radiologist recommends I get a needle biopsy, will put that in his notes to my regular doctor.

3:15 - I'm in panic mode now, I head out and call Scott, then go pickup Scotty. I'm now in waiting mode. I called the doctor at 4 to see if I could just get this biopsy scheduled and over with. I'm a little shell-shocked. I'd love to know what the lump and pain is, but I'd also like to know why the heck she thinks endometriosis and how do you diagnose it?

This is me...panicking. Little Miss Doom & Gloom. AND I'm not sharing any of this with my dad...he's worse than me. Here's to hoping my doctor calls early tomorrow and I get the biopsy scheduled and it's nothing.

I'm not a wimp. I whine, of course, who doesn't? But pain rarely brings me to tears...but every month around the time of Aunt Flo? I'm in excruciating pain. I can't stand it when waistbands touch anywhere near my c-section scar. Right below my scar is where it hurts the most. Just on the right side. It's been this way for months, if not longer. I hate to complain...I hate to be a wimp about it, especially living with my hubby who rarely complains despite being in a wheelchair and in pain pretty much all the time. Tuesday was Day 1...hubby told me to just call the doctor and get it checked out. I finally broke down and called this morning and am heading in at 11. I'm really hoping they have some bright ideas. Ibuprofen doesn't touch it. Heating pads and warm baths don't help. It's painful when I sleep and accidentally roll over. And the worst? I can't leave the house...I'm pretty sure it would be frowned upon to wear my pants as low in public as I do when I'm at home! So wish me luck...hopefully this doctor has more brains than my OB and nurse who just told me it was scar tissue, see ya later.